By: Sodiq Lawal Chocomilo
After the dust of this election settles, I humbly suggest a mandatory refresher course for the Osun State Police Command, particularly CP Ibrahim Gotan. It is now clear that he has become a ‘cancer’ the people of Osun must manage before he returns to Pankshin LGA, Plateau he came from.
I recommend these two courses for him, if he eventually considers my advice. Discretion 101, Native Intelligence 104, and How Not to Be a Prop in Someone’s Political Skit 203.
Beyond the allegations of bias and complicity aside, it is clear the command currently runs on vibes, not leadership. Discretion has left the building, and apparently the building is also under a cage, padlocked by people who take advantage of its lack of quality leadership.
When I saw: “SSG TESLIM IGBALAYE ARRESTED,” on social media, I briefly dusted off my keyboard to write him a resignation speech after I read from some minions who perhaps think for the Osun Police Command that he was in possession of 14,000 voter cards. Then I remembered this is Osun, where arrests sometimes come with more drama than evidence. I was ready to hammer him. Turns out, I only needed to tap him lightly and ask what play this was from.
I had resolved to wait.
With all the amateur theatre currently passing for policing in Osun — private citizens issuing press releases for the Force, institutional power being abused like a borrowed ATM card, and gross negligence served daily — I thought, let me at least wait for an official statement before I react.
Before that statement came, the town criers of social media had already done their job. According to them, over 14,000 voter cards were found in the possession of the SSG. Fourteen thousand. I paused. What exactly is one man doing with a small warehouse of democracy? I was perplexed. I almost believed it too, especially after police sources quietly confirmed an arrest.
Then the official statement dropped.
And I was dumbfounded. Not shocked. Not surprised. Dumbfounded.
It is so laughable that if I weren’t concerned for the state police command, I would frame it and put it in a museum of Nigerian absurdities.
According to the Osun State Police Command under CP Ibrahim Gotan, a “suspected gang leader” was arrested and the following exhibits linked to vote-buying were recovered:
N4 million in cash. One laptop. One photocopier. One printer. Two voter cards. And one voter register.
Pause for dramatic music.
N4 million. For an SSG. That’s like finding sachet water in a billionaire’s fridge and calling it a discovery.
Two voter cards in the residence of a political leader? Not 14,000. Not 500. Two. You could fit them in your wallet.
And a voter register — a public document INEC practically gift-wrapped and distributed to political parties? That’s the centerpiece of the exhibit list. At this point, my NEPA bill should also be tendered as evidence. Osun Police should give room for knowledge and education, please.
The emphasis on a voter register makes the whole statement read like a joke with a punchline that forgot to arrive.
This is the same Command that political parties — ADC, AAC, SDP, Accord — have accused of bias and compromise. After reading this, you begin to understand why.
I’ve written an open letter to CP Ibrahim Gotan. He’s not a toddler, so I won’t be buying him pampers. I’ll just offer advice, free of charge.
Because right now, the Osun Police Command under his watch is no longer a law enforcement agency. It’s a comedy house. And the current production is titled: “Inanities Over Substance, Starring CP Gotan.”
Honestly, at this point we should just sew a proper Baba Sala costume for the CP. It will fit the performance, and at least the audience will know what genre they’re watching.
Policing, as you were reminded during the IG’s visit, is not just about boots and batons. It requires discretion, native wisdom, and emotional intelligence. Three things that are in short supply when the state is already volatile.
Heaven forbid we erect a "Statue of Shame and Dishonor" in your name. That would be tragic. Granite is expensive, and the mockery would be free.
They say every man is a political animal. If the allegations that you are compromised are true, then perhaps it is time for a refresher course. Not in law, not in ethics, but in the advanced art of being a "questionable CP" without setting the state on fire or giving the public a front-row seat to the drama.
Sir, the elders have spoken. Consult the senior officers. The ones who collect political contracts, and somehow exit every scandal with clean hands and new titles. Ask them for their blessings. Ask them how it’s done. How to navigate, how to smile, how to be responsible without becoming a meme.
The shame is enough. The mockery is tiring. The people are tired of watching.
It is time to be responsible, CP.
